All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
