i love accidental penises.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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