sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
