u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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