I am puke
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
