Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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