If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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