It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
