I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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