Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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