Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
