rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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