He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
