They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
