If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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