I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
