I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
