she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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