Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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