I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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