I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
