Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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