mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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