Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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