dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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