Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize