i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
