what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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