The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Someone came in the potted fern
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
