Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
