she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
