Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
