what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The police scanner is talking about you again....
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
