You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
