took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
