I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
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