No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
