He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
