The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
