so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
