Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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