Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
