I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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