Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize