it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We left an ass print on the piano.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
