I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
