You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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