Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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