i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We named our party play list daddy issues
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
