Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
