Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
