Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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