Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
