I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
