Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
