I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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