I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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