awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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