hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
