i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
