Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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